The Watchman ~

And he said unto me, These sayings are faithful and true: and the Lord God of the holy prophets sent his angel to shew unto his servants the things which must shortly be done. (take place). Rev. 22: 6

Behold, I (Jesus) come quickly:...Rev. 22:7

Moses talked with God on Mount Sinai and received the Ten Commandments, which, without a savior, we cannot follow; he stood in the gap many times for his people.

Daniel was given visions about the end times, an angel appeared to Daniel after he'd fasted three weeks, to say he'd tried to answer him on the first day of his fast, but the Prince of Persia (fallen angel, power of darkness) had apprehended him, and Michael had to come to assist him in the fight in order to get through..

John was given revelations on the Island of Patmos regarding the end times.  While the righteous were living their lives, evil men were also....following is a sort of summary of what has taken place over decades, centuries,...



According to the Bible, Lucifer was cast down because he wanted to be God. He was proud and rebellious. His goal has always been to be worshipped and get rid of anyone and anything that God loves.  Of course, there is more to it.  He has used people throughout time to scheme his devious plan along with the Fallen Angels (Gen 6) to eventually appear as the Antichrist.  People have been used as puppets: Secret Societies, Satan worshippers, politicians, any and everyone that follows him, to fulfill his plan.
People have continued living their lives and believing the whole world was normal, beautiful, and would stay that way forever.  There have always been wars and rumors of wars, famine and pestilence, trials and tribulation, slavery, prisoners, rich and poor, starvation for many, prominence for others,...But there are always times of peace, which are the "Norman Rockwell Days" as I call them.  And when times are good, most don't want to hear what the Watchman sees coming, they want life to go on as normal.
Many worshiped and believed in their false gods, they did unfathomable evils right before the world, but most people continued to be blinded...Hundreds and thousands of years go by.  The time to call forth the evil one and his government through the Stargate/portals from the heavenlies. These Secret Societies held seances and such to conjure up evil beings for their supernatural knowledge.

False gods....

The demonic ones were totally accepted by many humans; they taught their supernatural technology, but in return, had been using and deceiving these societies because why?  Because Satan and his minions, which is behind it all, have come to lie, steal, kill and destroy.  They hate all of God's creation, because they hate God.

The Bible says that in the end times, it will be worse than anything that was ever on the earth...people will "marvel", they will faint from fear, and some will be so fearful, they will just die. (The most astounding things, beyond belief, you will find out on the videos I've asked you to watch.)

The Watchman sees what's coming

Proclaiming

People go about their business, scoffing, unbelieving, life as usual, they don't want to believe all of this because they just want to "be happy", they plug their ears...Watchman is discouraged, what more can he do...he's done his job...but people don't want to believe maybe because it's just too unimaginable.


Evil is here



Control by taking our finances, homes, if we refuse to go along with their plans for the New World Order and One World Religion, which I hear will be Catholics/Islam.


Those that don't accept the New World Order and their plans are eventually sent  to FEMA CAMPS/WALMART PRISONS which are nation wide, world wide prisons and

SO WHAT WILL GOD'S PEOPLE DO DURING THE END TIMES??

WE WILL DO EXPLOITS! And the Word says in Revelations, to those that overcome will receive many blessings in His Kingdom. We can do all things through Christ which strenthens us, His strength is made perfect in our weakness, by the power of the Holy Spirit and the Name and Blood of Jesus.


Abomination of Desolation, the Anti-Christ/Satan, sits in the Temple on the Ark of the Covenant, where the Blood of Jesus Christ is already applied, when the spear was pierced in his side, His blood and water gushed down the crack from the earthquake when He was on Golgotha, onto the left side of the Mercy Seat on the Ark of the Covenant, the very place Ron Wyatt discovered that has been protected by four angels until the appointed time.  His blood has already been verified in a lab in Israel, that the Father of this blood was not of this earth: it revealed an earthly mother, and one Y Chromosome: The God of Creation; the Father.  The Godhead; Father/Son/Holy Spirit.

There is SO much more to this...it's all in the Bible, and the Watchmen, the men and women that are doing their BEST to warn us of what's coming, can prove what they're saying, and biblically, as well.

Jesus will return after the Abomination of Desolation is revealed, according to Revelation, and with the spirit of His mouth, will destroy them all.  

But for now, we're still here.  Let's be like the 5 wise virgins....Let's be prepared!

By the word of my testimony...

What all can I say about what I've been through. We've all been through MANY somethings. What a statement. But it's true, right. How we came out of it, what we learned from it, did we stay bitter, did we forgive and move on, did we turn it over to the Lord, are we dragging past hurts, holding a grudge,...

I've had to fight for things I've wanted, like pray hard, fight the devil in prayer so many times.  I'm still praying for healings and many other important issues, for myself and others.  Learning to stand on the Word without wavering, learning how to wait patiently for what I hope for.  Not always easy. NOT always easy one bit.  Learning to live by faith, not by sight, exercising my senses to discern both good and evil (Heb 5:14).

I used to hide in my bedroom a lot when I was a teenager, I felt like it was security, couldn't get hurt like that, you know, stay away from people.  I tried that after I got married but my husband wouldn't allow it. I've come to realize that everything I wasn't, he was; he was outgoing, I was shy; he was adventurous, I was cautious. He could cook, I couldn't. lol 

In fact, I truly believe that's one reason I felt driven to be a nurse: I couldn't "hide", I had to actually BE around people on a daily basis, like it or not, and let me tell you; sick people's loved ones can be some of the hardest people to deal with!  That's been my experience; "are you tired? why aren't you smiling? why are you making him get out of bed when he hurts so much? what are you giving him now so I can write everything down (in case the medical staff does something wrong)?"

My prayers are answered often in surprising ways, always in His timing and in HIS way, thankfully!  Like a grandchild moving on with the Lord, making mature decisions about letting a bad relationship go and still remaining hopeful for the future; another person gets healed that we've been praying for; someone you know finally forgives past hurts that has been bitter for years; someone finally forgives themselves for something they've done that you've been praying for.  I remember a friend that couldn't get over the death of her mother, she'd been grieving for so many years, she wanted to get over it but she just couldn't.  We talked and prayed and she finally gave her grief over to the Lord; it literally went away!

Whether you believe it or not, we've prayed for people to be delivered from demons; example, one from pornography and one from a spirit of suicide.  Healed and completely free, and happy!  Derek Prince, author and evangelist, if you're interested in learning about deliverance, you can find his videos on Youtube.  You may need it yourself, or you know someone that does.  Listen, Jesus healed and delivered people all the time.  In fact, other countries are well aware of demon possession, they know it's real.  Why most Americans don't is beyond me. 

My own marriage is every bit a miracle to me (a threefold cord is not easily broken; Ecc. 4:12)  An aunt once told me that people said they didn't give us a year after we got married; now it's been like forty-three years!  Ups and downs, good and bad; immature when we got married, basically grew up together, I'd say.  This testimony is for another day, however.

Not always easy. The trying of our faith works patience,...James 1:3  There's so many times I'd be hoping for a certain something to happen, maybe a healing for myself (definitely), praying for someone to change, praying for a relationship to improve, praying for what EVER.  And when it didn't happen quickly, when I felt like it should, the temptation to just plain get discouraged and even give up was usually right there, knocking on my door. 

Cry here, cry there, shout here, shout there (alone of course: with windows closed and no one home.)  I'd be wondering, what did i pray wrong, what did I say wrong, or should I pray differently, will I ever overcome this or that, are things always going to be this difficult, am i always going to be battling these certain feelings or issues,...those thoughts came when I was going through nursing school, raising three kids, marital relationship, friends, my past, our future, our PRESENT!

Then I'll get a scripture, the Lord will talk to me about whatever it is I need or am going through, peace, trust, faith, encouragement, love; whatever I need, He always provides. Always.

Sometimes I feel like that religious spirit, or that old denominational thing I used to live in, that said I had to do everything right, under the law, creeps in, then the Lord reminds me that I'm under Grace, not the Law. The Law was to show us we CAN'T do everything right and we need a Savior.  Do you ever feel like you beat yourself up over things you should have done differently? Well, I have, I've got a history of that.  Harder on myself I believe than others are on me.  

But I know, my hope is in Him. And He will never leave me nor forsake me. He never has, even when I'd let Him down, He never let ME down.  Even during the times I got distracted with my own life or too busy to spend time with Him, He never left me.  I can look back and tell.  When I speak to Him, He always lets me know He heard me and He is SO RIGHT HERE. Beyond understanding. Amazing.

Oh, for the days of innocence...

Oh, to go back to the days of Norman Rockwell, the innocent days.  But as time goes on, I've come to learn, there were never really any innocent days for many people.  So many people grew up in the most horrendous of circumstances.  My own life was more like Norman Rockwell paintings compared to so may unfortunates.  Abductions, tortures, Satanic rituals involving babies and children, mind control, it goes on and on. 

Our history books were filled with whatever the Elite wanted us to know or think, covering up truths beyond belief.  And now they're trying to erase even more.   Don't take my word for it, do your research. The Smithsonian cover-ups is a good start?

That basically every President of this great USA was actually a Freemason; the Statue of Liberty really stands for "liberty from all that is God" and was dedicated by Freemasons from France; that the capital of the USA is actually designed by Freemasons, the obelisk is a falic symbol and the dome/womb of the capital building all is designed to 'usher in' Nimrod/Ra/Antichrist, call it what you like. Look up the history of all of this for yourselves.  You may have already been aware of these facts.  I'm rather a late awakener, I guess.  And not just in America, look at the world, the floor plan of the Vatican, Peru, Megaliths world wide, the Pyramids, who could have builT the India Temples so intricately, on and on and on.  It's all very interesting, but very eye opening, to say the least.

 
Sounds so crazy doesn't it; totally ridiculous, mind boggling, ludicrous, and in no way could be true, right?  The more we're finding out the truth, the more "they" try to undermine and scoff and create chaos so that anyone coming out with the truth of the past, AND future, will never believe us. 

It's so scary that no one wants to really know what is really going on!  It's not Norman Rockwell stories!  It's tales straight from our nightmares or worse sci-fi movies ever made. I've had more people look at me and say, You know what, I don't want to know: I'd rather not know. I don't believe all that anyway.

The more I look into all of these things, the more I realize, as have many others of the believers in Christ, that the "Elite Powers" has been moving the whole world towards one goal; that Lucifer/Satan (adversary after the fall) wants to be worshipped and be above Jesus and he will be the abomination of desolation, to rid of anything and everyone that believes in our one true creator God, and believers in Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Satan's been deceiving God's creation since Adam and Eve, using humans as puppets to do his bidding; deceived the Elite powers that be into thinking they will have a place of honor with him for all eternity, or never die.  All depends on the lie, convinced them to open portals/Stargates so that the demonic can come right on in and intermingle with all of us.

It's all in the Bible, from Genesis to Revelations.  The Old Testament cannot be discarded; you can't take it out; it's like a marriage.  The OT and the NT are together as one; the OT explains the NT.  It's all about redemption through Christ.  And so much more. 

But here's the deal; yes, originally God had created us to live in the Garden of Eden, right?  But after the fall, it's been about us being redeemed by Jesus because without Him, we're doomed, He's THE only way to Heaven.

SO.  When I look out at the bluest skies that are free from chem-trails (look it up on YouTube; it's not a "theory", it's a fact), I well up; this life is only temporary.  We're just passing through.  Our eternity comes AFTER we die, the believers eternal home is not here anyway, nor is it for non-believers.  And neither is it meant to be.  One day there will be a New Jerusalem, a new Earth.  Our mansion in Heaven awaits the believers in Jesus.

I John 3:8 says He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning.  For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 

JESUS ALREADY WON!!  HE ALREADY CONQUERED HELL AND DEATH!
 
Our relationship with Jesus, the baptism of the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues, and the Father.  Reading the Word of God every day, every day, praying & fasting, spending time with Jesus, learning to hear the Holy Spirit, following Him, turning from sin and walking with the Lord- Our God provides our every need, we MUST know who we are in Christ, our authority in Him.  We MUST live by faith, learn to live in faith and love of God, which means obedience to Him.  What EVER's coming in our lives, now or in the future, He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  He will tell us what we need to do, for any trial or tribulation that comes into our lives. 

The most interesting and exciting research I've done/do, is always about what I find out about archeological finds regarding proving the Bible is true.  Ron Wyatt's discoveries, the Shroud of Turin and the scientific results,...

 I

Purpose of a fruit tree

There's this house that has some beautiful fruit trees in the yard. However, we never see them picking any when they're in season, nor will they even offer them to anyone else, that we know of. People have even asked if they could have some, but nah; won't give them away.  No, but they trimmed their trees and placed the branches to the street for the garbage truck.  Hopefully the garbage man was able to get some; I say this because he'd asked my husband to ask them if he could have some...Passersby took some of the branches home with oranges still attached. At least they didn't all go to waste.

 

Now I ask you; why not share? What's the harm in that?  You won't give them away or eat them yourselves, but you'll put them to the garbage?

 

What, pray tell, does that tell you about their character?  Benefit of the doubt: don't want to get involved with people? Scared of people?  Don't like sharing with strangers, what??

 

People are known by their 'fruits'; their character, how they treat others, what they believe in, the way they act, perform,...If their mouth says one thing, but their actions say another, DON'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY! LOOK AT THEIR ACTIONS, WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN!  We're talking about your neighbors, family, relatives, politicians, anyone.

 

Let's quit allowing ourselves to walk in deception, be deceived.  PRAY AGAINST DECEPTION!  We're told what to believe, what to think, how to act; THINK FOR YOURSELF.  Where's our creative thinking been? What ever happened to using our brain??  We must research and learn things for ourselves: is this true,  is this false, is this a cover-up, what are they not telling us, WHY are they covering things up, WHY do they lie to us, what is the real agenda here?  Think about what's going on, look things up for yourself!  If you're hearing people say, "they're brainwashing us and using mind control", don't just ignore it; find out why they're saying this.  WHAT IF IT WERE TRUE?

 

Pray about who to listen to, who are the true Watchmen that God has set up for the believers in these times. Then when listening to someone, don't just blow it off; keep researching, keep looking into things, go deeper into finding out truths. 

 

Matthew 7:16-20 ¹⁶Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? ¹⁷Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. ¹⁸A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. ¹⁹Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. ²⁰Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them

 

 

Warning dreams....

During the early hours of this morning, I had a dream that was so frightening and realistic! 

The dream ~ 

My husband and I were in his truck in town when I looked up towards the sky; there were blackish/blue clouds and a large insect -looking creature that almost took up the whole sky.  It's hues were dark blues, dark purples, shades of black, and sort of shiny; it had huge wings, it's 'face' was facing to the left, it wasn't moving, but it looked fierce.  (Within a day or so of this dream, I saw an article/video about the “social-insect”: this is about all the social media knowledge they are collecting to use against us in the coming days), I asked my husband, "Do you see that?!" "YES."  I said, "It's here! It's starting!! Hurry up and ask the Lord to forgive us of any sins!!"  I looked to my right through the window and there was a young man, appeared to be in his 20's, wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and tennis shoes, casually walking on the right side of the street along the sidewalk when all of a sudden, an invisible something snatched him up into the air!  He was screaming and flailing, fearful....then he was just gone.  I thought, if this is the Lord, if this is the rapture, why aren't I going up? 

Right after that, ANOTHER man that was walking on the left side of the street was jerked up in the same way, screaming, legs and arms flailing, totally taken off guard!  This was occurring during the daytime!  The sky was darkened, but not everywhere else...I do know that way off to our front left there was commotion, people were troubled, peering up at the sky.

That's when I realized; Jesus isn't going to look like that in the sky! THIS WASN'T THE WORK OF JESUS'S RETURN!!  This was the wrath of Satan written in Revelations 12:12 ~ "..Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time."  Whatever was abducting these people was invisible.

It shook me up so badly that I woke up with my heart pounding from fear! I started praying, pleading the blood of Jesus and asking the Lord to forgive me if I'd brought the dream upon myself, you know, if I'd done something I shouldn't have, wondering why...the fear quickly disappeared and I went back to sleep.

When I awoke around daybreak this morning, I thought about what had happened and how real it was.  I felt like it was a warning, that I'm supposed to share this with others, about what's to come, that it's soon:  Soon soon. 

I thought, "Who's gonna listen to me?  They're gonna say/think, 'Eh, it's just a dream, it's not gonna happen, blah blah blah."

Immediately I felt like the Lord said, "If I give you a warning to give to My people, and y-ou don' tell others because you're afraid of being mocked or scoffed at, and they get caught unawares..."

I knew the rest... 

Update:  I meant to add; I believe it was the next day or two- I read in David Paulides' post, author of Missing 411 which deals with all of the unexplained abductions in the National Parks and world wide, that a young boy totally disappeard while walking on thE side of a waterfall along with other children.  This was in Australia, actually. An Aboriginal tracker hired to help locate this child, said that the tracks of the boy went up the side of the trail and then just STOPPED.  He said it was as if it had been lifted into the air and just gone.

That's the exact same thing I dreamed! 

December 3, 2019 ~

This morning something occurred to me; could this dream be about "THE LIE" that Tom Horn and Cris Putnam wrote about in Exo-Vaticana : Petrus Romanus, Project L.U.C.I.F.E.R. and the Vatican's Astonishing Plan for the Arrival of an Alien Saviour published back in 2013? I've just started reading it this week.  According to what they have discovered, the Vatican is awaiting an Alien Savior to arrive from the sky. Sounds impossible, ridiculous, and we have denied and scoffed at UFO's for decades when the ufologists talked about it. Get the book. You decide. And how does this have anything to do with salvation, or the Bible?  They explain it all in their book. 

"Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: AND HE WILL SHEW YOU THINGS TO COME." John 16:13 (Emphasis: mine)

I had another dream, several years ago...

A giant dragon came up out of the sea, right in front of me, that time I wasn't afraid. The water splashed around him as he came up, I could see every scale, every detail.  He was looking to the left, then he turned his head to the right.  His eyes weren't like fire as in the movies but they appeared wise, like he had no fear in him.  I still remember it to this day, another realistic dream. 

When I got up that morning I wrote it down and searched the Word to see if there was anything about a dragon coming out of the sea.  Sure enough: 

"In that day the Lord with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea."  Isaiah 27:1

"Thou didst divide the sea by thy strength: thou brakest the heads of the dragons in the waters."  Psalm 74:13

Again I encourage you to read the book by Jamie Waldon, Omega Dynamics Equipping a Warrior Class of Christians for the Days Ahead... ~  Jamie is a Marine Corps Infantry Sergeant, Police Officer, Firefighter/Paramedic Specialists, Tactical Medic, and Disaster Response Specialist turned Missionary, researcher,....I'm still reading it, have to chew on it as you go, one of those kinds of books.  If you want to be prepared as a Warrior for Christ, this is one I highly recommend!

Just saying ~

And my name is Robin, in case you haven't already figured it out, the author of this blog ~ actually, the PUBLISHED author of this blog (that's what the icon says on top of my blogger when I want to post) am a (medically) retired RN, married for over 41 years to the same man, have children and grandchildren. My mom lives in the garage apartment behind our house (because she can), have brothers and sisters that love each other, our dad's with the Lord in Heaven.

A Robin's Song =  

Song= the musical phrases uttered by some birds, whales, & insects typically forming a recognizable & repeated sequence & used chiefly for territorial defence.

Defence= the action of defending from or resisting attack. military measures or resources for protecting a country. a means of protecting something from attack. fortifications or barriers against attack. the arrangement of defensive lines or fortifications so that they can defend each other.

Terretorial= relating to the ownership of an area of land or sea.

I feel like I should mention: back in the day, English books told us all of our sentences had to have a noun, verb, etc...Well, I write pretty much the way I speak, noun or verb whatnot. Still learning how to use the assets of this blogging machine. Soooo, thank you for joining me. 

GOOD knowledge is powerful: recommended books & DVD'S

Books about the Days Before Noah, and after that

(authors are believers)

Termination: The End of Man is Here by Steve Quayle (all of his books are eye openers! I've listed only a few here. You can order his books on stevequayle.com)

True Legends by Steve Quayle & Timothy Alberino

Cydonia: The Secret Chronicles of Mars by David Flynn

Empire Beneath the Ice: How the Nazis Won World War II by Stephen (Steve) Quayle

Xenogenisis: changing men into monsters by Stephen Quayle

Little Creatures by Stephen Quayle

Weather Wars & Un-Natural Disasters by Stephen Quayle

Omega Dynamics: Equipping a Warrior Class of Christians for the Days Ahaead by Jamie Walden

Exo-Vaticano by Cris Putnam and Thomas Horn

The Milieu: Welcome to the Transhuman Resistance by Dr. Thomas Horn

The Final Roman Emporor, The Islamic Antichrist, and the Vatican's Last Crusade by Thomas Horn and Chris Putnam

Forbidden Secrets of the Labyrinth by Mark Flynn

Blood on the Altar: The Coming War Between Christian vs. Christian
 
 To name a few....any books by these are exceptional.  Don't take my word for it: read them for yourself, find out if these books are true. 

 Books by Author Becky Dvorak

Dare to Believe: The True Power of Faith to Walk in Divine Healings and Miracles

Greater than Magic: The Supernatural Power of Faith

The Healing Creed: God's Promises for Your Healing Breakthrough

The Prophetic & Healing Power of Your Words: Creating an Atmosphere for the Miraculous

Why tell you anything at all...

Having lived all of my life where hurricanes are a common occurrence certain times of the year, we've learned what to expect when one is on it's way.  Thankfully now, the weather forecast informs us of what category it will be, 5 being the worst.  They will also tell us when to evacuate, what to do to prepare ahead of time, and so forth.  And even though people are warned, they don't always take it seriously; some stay and may die, or wish they'd left.  And yes, sometimes the hurricane isn't as bad as what the weatherman states, but what if it WAS?  Would you be willing to take that chance, or risk you or your family's lives on the basis of your "feelings"?  We can look at story after story about the people that have stayed and wished they'd left, or the ones that didn't take it seriously.  I for one want to be forewarned.

Even doctors 'forewarn' their patients before surgery, as in a life threatening surgery.  As a nurse, some patients even said, "I don't want to know the risks; just do it."

Would you want to be aware ahead of time when a catastrophic event was getting read to occur?  Or do you want to take your chances, that whatever's coming, you can handle it. 

What if it's something so outrageous, something you never thought of, that took you by surprise...something so horrible...

The Bible says that the end times will be worse than anything that has occurred since the beginning of time. [Matt 24:21]

I just tried to tell someone about what I've been learning about what's coming in the end times, what has been documented and researched by these men I've already told y'all about on these websites, ...  This person didn't care, didn't want to know, really didn't believe it, said they're just concerned about what goes on in their own little world and that I should do the same, that I should quit worrying about everybody else and just worry about myself.  And if those things do happen, they don't care cuz they're going to heaven anyway, and will face it when it comes, even if something grabs him/her, tears them to pieces. And the words, "what do you want me to do with this information; what is it you want from me?  There's nothing I can do about it!"

I'll tell you why I want to tell people what I know; I don't want people to be caught unawares; I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE!  I want people I love and care about to be so close to the Lord and so full of the Word of God, that they will know what scriptures/sword of the Spirit to proclaim when faced with demonic forces!  Going to heaven?  Praise God, I'm so glad, but we're still on this earth and God also says, "My people perish for lack of knowledge."  [Hosea 4:6] 

Sounds like to ME that God has every desire for us to have knowledge, and that about what we're about to face.

And if this event isn't what these guys are saying on the websites I already told y'all about don't happen?  All the better. But I think not.  I'd rather be prepared for a catastrophic event ahead of time.  I don't want to be one of those that "marvel" at what I see...I want to know. 

Before I had my spleen taken out, my surgeon said, you could die on the table and bleed out if we cut your splenetic artery...high risk...or your nutrition level is so low you'll probably not heal....I wanted to be told.  Then my goal was to cry out to God and find scriptures I could stand on that said, I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord,....I found several....I also found some that took care of me either way....and then I had peace, and knew I could face what was coming.  My life threatening event.

I want y'all to be prepared against fear.  The bible also says that people will faint from fear/terror and die because of it. No not everyone, but I tell you this; whenever fear comes to your heart, if it does, the only One that can give you the peace you need to where your heart won't feel like you're going to have a panic attack or worse, a HEART attack, it's the Word of God.

When fear has come to my heart and I've gone to the word, He always brings me to scriptures that are relevant to that particular fear.  And then peace comes, like I've gone into a high tower, a pavilion, a rock.  I looked up each of those words when I asked Him how can I go to something that's invisible??  Sometimes I think, I would love to be able to talk to someone about this or that! then the thought comes to me, the only one that can REALLY do anything for me is the Lord.  I have to first go to Him, because He knows EXACTLY what it is that will set me free.  Not saying we can't turn to a trusted person.  Just that I've learned that if I want something to go deep into me, it should come from the Lord first. 

Look up those scriptures that will be your sword for the coming days, and read the word again and again, day after day, pray without ceasing, doesn't have to be aloud.  Daniel prayed three times a day, if not all day.  And God revealed secrets to him.

Some about my earlier days...

I suppose I've always basically been a loner.  I had friends, but few were close.  Or that I allowed to get close.  One or two at a time, usually. 

I had a good family, grew up on the Bayou Tech country in south Louisiana on the outskirts of a small town.  Mom would take us to the library, which smelled of old books and I would escape into the world of the plantation days or ghost stories...Loved that small library.  Went back not long ago and it was no longer there, such is time.

We rode bikes all the way to the small country airport which was across from a small plantation looking home, acres of property, fenced in.  Weren't allowed on the airport grounds, of course, but there wasn't much else we didn't explore.  We made make believe houses out of the sugar cane when we weren't eating them on my best friend's back wharf on the bayou.  We'd go get her mom's small cutting knives and we knew that the darkest part of the cane was the sweetest which was near the roots.  The newer part of the cane, on the top, was bitter.  You have to cut the outside layer, like a cucumber, and inside is the sweet fiber which you cut into long sticks, like a carrot. MMMM  We did this until our OTHER neighbor's mom told us that the sugarcane workers told her we had to stay out, it was private property; we'd done this for years before we were told not to.

I learned to drive with our green bug Volkswagen all over the roads in the cane field, and we'd have that radio blaring.  No, no parent with us, my dad just LET me go!  Took the neighbors for a thrilling ride, we thought we were somethin'.

Where we lived, there were only a few houses at the time.  There was a home of girls across the street on the bayou, and on the side of our house, another family of girls.  I have a lot of regrets about my handling of my friends in those days.  If any of you are reading this, please forgive me.  Because of my own insecurities, I didn't play fair, let's just say that.  I wanted everyone to like ME, not befriend someone else MORE than me.  So I know I've hurt some of them during those times.  Yes, I was young.  But still.

There were huge oak trees all over our near acre property which stood in front of these acres and acres of cane fields.  Had brothers and sisters to play with, good neighbors, we were always imaginative and having fun.  Never heard my parents argue, we ate well, was provided for...

All that to say, this...then WHY did I end up feeling unloved, unwanted, ugly, and thought everyone hated me by the time I turned 14-ish? I was never abused by anyone, but I felt rejected. 

By the time I was a senior in high school, we'd moved about 30 minutes away because of my dad's new job, to a larger town.

Meeting new people, it was awful.  I was SO shy, so tormented that I seldom if ever smiled unless I was with a close friend.  Around the 10th grade, when I was alone, I would cry out, "Oh God, PLEASE change me!! PLEASE change me! I can't live like this anymore, I don't want to be me, I want to change!"  I didn't know what to do about it.  I didn't know I could find peace and acceptance through Christ.  We were raised Catholic but I never had any of my prayers answered except one:  when I'd prayed when we lived in Colorado for a rosary and someone gifted me one.  But when I would pray to Mary, no prayers were ever answered, and I grew tired of saying the same thing over and over on the rosary.

I'd tried so hard when I was around 9 years old to be good, like Saint Theresa, after I'd read a book about her.  But after 3 days, I failed with my childish sins and knew I could never be good enough to be a saint like her.

Everyone loved my mom; she was also from the same area we lived in but next town over, along the bayou. She was friendly, fun, high school sweet heart, homecoming queen....well, try to live up to THAT!  lol  All my friends wanted to be around HER, I felt more than me, but I couldn't blame them.  I wasn't much fun in my own estimation, right?  They all wanted her to be THEIR mom.  She's been living with us since 2009, helping out with me during my long health issues and now lives out in apartment behind our house, back in her own hometown areas, what a blessing she's been to each of her kids, I tell ya.

Ok, where was I going with this.

Oh yeah...let's cut to it...By the time I was in the twelfth grade, I found the Lord! And he's brought me through trial after trial, like a school, till when I take the test, I pass it, then onto the next class....It never ends.  :)  I think I wrote in another post how that came about...

*sigh* enough for now....If you have any questions, or if I've left something out, write in the comments and I'll try to get to that.